--- explicit sexual discussion ---
So Sir spent some time with me today..... i was grateful for it. It has been a while since we've had time together, and i was feeling a bit adrift, a little out of sorts - and if i'm honest, a little nervous, as well.
i function best with frequent contact (and yes, i DO mean that literally AND figuratively). When left to my own devices for too long, i tend to become uncertain and withdrawn, and that never leads to good things.
Anyway, Sir had me begin our session by reciting my devotion, which i did. Then i had to assume the positions He asked for (do you remember when i discussed these? They are numbered - 1, 2, 3, and 4). He wanted to know if i remembered them, and i do.
Sir told me i had done well thus far, and then He told me to go get whatever would fill His pussy the fullest. Hmm. That's a pretty open-ended order .... but He allowed me to choose what i'd like to use, and that was a boon He didn't have to give me. i selected the black beads; i have 2 sets, so there are 10 beads total to play with. i was able to insert the first 5 pretty easily, though i was feeling fairly full by that point. Sir had to tell me to slow down, as i was struggling with getting number 6 to go in. i get impatient, especially when Sir is watching me, and i try to rush things. And as always when i get in my own way, it doesn't turn out too well.
Anyway, Sir made me slow down, relax and allow myself the time to stretch. It was easier after that, and #6 went in all right. Number 7, however, was a real stretch; i was full, and i could feel all the beads pushing against the walls of Sir's pussy. i can't say that it was painful, exactly, but i definitely felt a deep inner soreness which was uncomfortable, to be sure. Still, i kept working at it, and eventually i was able to shove #7 in there with the rest. But that was the limit. Once the 7 were in place, and i'd had a minute or two to adjust to the fullness inside me, Sir told me to play with His pussy. As i rubbed His property, feeling the desire build, Sir began talking to me, asserting His ownership of all that i am, telling me some of what He expects of His sub, driving home the point that He is the one in control. And i know that, i do; i accept it, truly; i'm much less resistant that i was earlier in this journey. i don't claim to be perfect, and Sir concentrated on a couple of the things i still have issues with.
(i have found - and i may be interpreting this wrong, but this is how it seems to me - that Sir likes to talk to me while i'm on the edge of orgasm, holding me on the edge while He makes His most pressing argument, the demands He knows i have the most issue with, refusing to allow me to cum until i acknowledge His ownership and His right to use me as He sees fit. Some people might see that as manipulative, but i figure, i know what the pattern is, and i really don't have to agree if i honestly don't want to. Submission, in my opinion, is all about self-discipline; i choose my behavior, i choose to respond in a submissive manner, i choose to surrender control. It all hinges on my choices.)
Once i answered Sir with the proper response, attitude, and respect, He commanded me to cum. And i did, quite hard, too. i could feel my inner muscles contracting around the beads, and it felt good. And then Sir made me climax again; i think it was both a test of obedience and a reward, mixed together, because i had to prove to Him that i wanted to, that i needed to. i faltered a little, i admit; i didn't mean to, and it wasn't an intentional act of disobedience. i just wasn't ready to cum the second time as quickly as Sir commanded me to. Have you heard the expression, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak"? That's where i was. i wanted to obey, i just couldn't get the body to cooperate at that precise moment. But Sir gave me a second chance, and i was able to comply that time.
Part of my hesitation, i think, was also related to the directive Sir had just given me, to find a female to join us in a session. Gulp. My brain went off in a million directions, turning that over, and i became distracted by the potential ramifications. Sir knew exactly what had happened, because He told me in no uncertain terms that i was not being replaced, nor subjugated under another sub; and then he said, "you are Mine." And that simple statement did more to reassure me than anything else, and i felt Sir's pussy respond to His claim; and i came pretty much right in response to His assertion.
But Sir wasn't finished with me yet. Once He was satisfied, He had another twist in mind: He told me i was not allowed to remove the beads with my hands; i had to push them out. Well. That is much harder than it sounds, and i felt silly, then a little frustrated, trying to comply. It took me several minutes to expel the 2 beads of the second string, and i did have to resort to pulling one of the beads of the first string free, before i could manage to push the rest out. i cannot even begin to tell you what an odd sensation that was. And then Sir told me He has yet another task for me - once each week i am to insert 5 beads (one whole string) and then use only those muscles to expel them. i suppose all muscles can be trained..... oh, and i am not allowed to cum during this task, either. That restriction has not changed.
So, i am not replacing any of my previous tasks; i am adding to them. i am still forbidden from climaxing without Sir's express permission. Still, i feel satisfied with today's session, and with the way i'm progressing. i have a long way to go, and many more lessons to learn and to share.
As always, comments are welcome. Please just be respectful of any other opinions expressed. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment