Safe and Sane - More Thoughts

--- frank sexual discussion ---


And another thing that's been bothering me somewhat - i've been writing lately about using implements like canes and floggers in sexual situations. And while i'm open to the idea - and in fact, i personally want to experience it - i am having doubts about it.

i've been researching it online, and 99% of what i've seen and read is labeled "severe caning" or "brutal whipping," and the receiver in these videos ends up battered and more than bruised, but with horrible huge welts and even, in several instances, open wounds. Ugh. That's not what i'm in this for. 

i thought the guiding principle in bdsm was "safe, sane, consensual." i do not see where this kind of beating is safe or sane.

It scares me, to be very frank. i'm not in this to be beaten, or scarred, or humiliated, or tortured. My craving and need for structure and discipline is not carte blanche to beat the living daylights out of me. Placing myself fully in the hands of another, to be used and owned and treated at His whim, requires a huge act of trust. i cannot trust if i am in fear. i cannot fully surrender if i have to be on guard, protecting myself from actual harm.

And while i do not believe that my Sir wold ever actually beat me to such an extent, there is that survival instinct that tells me i'm crazy to even consider it. Why would i subject myself to even the possibility? What would i possibly gain from it? And what happens if the line does get crossed? How do i get away safely and potect myself from future occurrences? 

Now, i trust Sir. i do. But i'll admit, even so, i'll be very closely monitoring the situation.