--- frank discussion ---
In order to become the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would spend an entire day in silence.
i have mentioned that i like to talk.... and i know that it sometimes drives Sir crazy. So in order to become closer to His ideal submissive, i will refrain from speaking. No arguing, no defending, no jumping in to make my point or prove i'm right.
Of course, this means i will have very little to write about. i have very little experience in just being quiet.
i am trying, honest, to be pliant, not only physically, but mentally as well. i've talked a lot these past several days about the things that bother me. Now i want to find out what happens when i consciously choose to not be bothered. And i think the quickest way for me to enter that place of quiet servitude is, literally, to be quiet.
i may not like or appreciate or agree with everything, and Sir has made it clear that i can ask Him, in a respectful manner, to clarify anything i'm unsure of, and i'm allowed to express my opinions. And i appreciate that, very much. i like to consider myself an intelligent person, and i am not a mindless automaton to be ordered about simply for the sake of being ordered. i don't need Sir to abuse me or tell me i'm worthless or humiliate me or anything like that. That's not what i'm here for.
But for all that - i have not ever really been quiet. Oh, sure, i've had times when i've had very little to say. Most of my college career comes to mind, actually. i was very shy, and i wouldn't express my opinion for anything. i was content to hang back and listen to others, to just be in the background and keep my own counsel. And in many ways i'm still like that. But even then, my mind is constantly whirring with all i need to do or get or accomplish or move toward. i don't seem to ever just BE, you know? i'd like to be able to just be, to feel and experience and breathe and relax and let go.
So one step in my journey toward perfect submission is to be quiet, to be still, to relax under Sir's direction and allow Him to command me, without automatically jumping in to protest or point out why it's not a good idea. In my head, i tend to think i'm being perfectly reasonable - logical, even. What it mostly boils down to is, i seem to have a need to always be on guard, to protect myself, to fend off any potential danger before it can get close enough to hurt me. And especially so when i'm placing myself in vulnerable situations. The more variables that are introduced, the less control one has, and the greater potential for harm. And i dearly want to avoid harm.
Of course there are all the old cliches like "No pain, no gain," and "No reward without risk." And they're good advice, generally speaking, but so is "Look before you leap." i have always been someone who needs to know all the details, in advance, all the pros and cons and contingencies, and to be denied them - well, it's not exactly a comfortable place for me. So when i say i want to just be, i really want to be able to relax and trust and not have to think about everything all the time. And i struggle with it. But i know Sir would appreciate it, so i'm working on making it happen.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Can You Come Out and Play?
--- frank discussion ---
In order to be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would have to be more open to, shall we say, the possibility of allowing a playmate to join us.
You have to understand that i hate the very thought of this. Everything in me screams that this is a terrible idea. i hate, loathe, despise, and am repulsed by it. i have no words for how deeply i believe this. i am still a person with thoughts and feelings and a heart of my own; i am not a bag of chips to be passed around at a party.
And yes, i am well aware that there are slaves/subs out there who ARE passed around by their Masters. i cannot speak for them, nor do i say it is wrong of them to comply. But for me - no. At the end of the day, i have to be proud of who i am and of what i have done. i simply cannot fathom how being turned into a party favor would make me proud of myself.
Any readers out there may well be wondering how in the world i can say i'm a sub, and that Sir owns me, when i feel so strongly about this. And yes, this is one of the issues i've alluded to in the past, one of the things i am not ready to do. Sir has made His position very clear - this is something He wants us to do. "It's simple," He says. No, really, it isn't. This is not the same as wearing no underwear to work, or skipping lunch to call Him, or arranging a weekend away from my son. This is my Sir, whom i have entrusted with my whole self, turning around and giving that gift away to God only knows who, and expecting me to be happy about it. i feel backed into a corner ...
Sir would like very much for me to go online to an alternate lifestyle web site and seek a potential playmate. He maintains that He will keep me safe, that He will make sure i am not harmed, that He will screen anyone i may initiate contact with. He keeps saying it's a matter of me trusting Him. i don't see it that way; i DO trust Him, but i'm not leaning out of a plane with only His grip on the back of my shirt, either.
Still, i HAVE perused a couple of sites, and i HAVE created a profile to see if there's any interest out there. i am not thrilled, i am not happy, but as an exercise in obedience, i have done that much. i have also sent a message to one person who seemed to meet Sir's qualifications. i have not had a response, which likely means, i'm not going to get one, and i'll have to reach out to someone else. It makes me sick to my stomach, but i will choose someone. As for the rest of it - i will simply have to take things one step at a time, and see what happens. i still feel ill, and it has taken me so, so long to even get this far. i resent being pushed into it, frankly, but part of that is my fault; i asked Sir to take me on. And we have argued about it before - more than once - and Sir always, always gets His way in the end. i can only hope that Sir is right, and that He will guard my safety and well-being through all of it. i am trying so hard to truly submit; it scares the shit out of me.
In order to be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would have to be more open to, shall we say, the possibility of allowing a playmate to join us.
You have to understand that i hate the very thought of this. Everything in me screams that this is a terrible idea. i hate, loathe, despise, and am repulsed by it. i have no words for how deeply i believe this. i am still a person with thoughts and feelings and a heart of my own; i am not a bag of chips to be passed around at a party.
And yes, i am well aware that there are slaves/subs out there who ARE passed around by their Masters. i cannot speak for them, nor do i say it is wrong of them to comply. But for me - no. At the end of the day, i have to be proud of who i am and of what i have done. i simply cannot fathom how being turned into a party favor would make me proud of myself.
Any readers out there may well be wondering how in the world i can say i'm a sub, and that Sir owns me, when i feel so strongly about this. And yes, this is one of the issues i've alluded to in the past, one of the things i am not ready to do. Sir has made His position very clear - this is something He wants us to do. "It's simple," He says. No, really, it isn't. This is not the same as wearing no underwear to work, or skipping lunch to call Him, or arranging a weekend away from my son. This is my Sir, whom i have entrusted with my whole self, turning around and giving that gift away to God only knows who, and expecting me to be happy about it. i feel backed into a corner ...
Sir would like very much for me to go online to an alternate lifestyle web site and seek a potential playmate. He maintains that He will keep me safe, that He will make sure i am not harmed, that He will screen anyone i may initiate contact with. He keeps saying it's a matter of me trusting Him. i don't see it that way; i DO trust Him, but i'm not leaning out of a plane with only His grip on the back of my shirt, either.
Still, i HAVE perused a couple of sites, and i HAVE created a profile to see if there's any interest out there. i am not thrilled, i am not happy, but as an exercise in obedience, i have done that much. i have also sent a message to one person who seemed to meet Sir's qualifications. i have not had a response, which likely means, i'm not going to get one, and i'll have to reach out to someone else. It makes me sick to my stomach, but i will choose someone. As for the rest of it - i will simply have to take things one step at a time, and see what happens. i still feel ill, and it has taken me so, so long to even get this far. i resent being pushed into it, frankly, but part of that is my fault; i asked Sir to take me on. And we have argued about it before - more than once - and Sir always, always gets His way in the end. i can only hope that Sir is right, and that He will guard my safety and well-being through all of it. i am trying so hard to truly submit; it scares the shit out of me.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Skin and Things
--- frank sexual discussion ---
In order to be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would need to become less conscious of - or less bothered by - public displays of nakedness, and public sexual acts.
Right now the idea of showing too much skin in public totally wigs me out. It's just wrong. i don't want to see any one else's boobs or ass hanging out, so why should i show mine? The same logic applies even more to public sex - i definitely don't want to see it, so why should i be the one doing it? Private things should remain private. You want to hang from the chandelier in your bedroom or living room or hotel room, fine - but don't be fucking in the elevator or the hotel swimming pool. That's just nasty.
i know that i blogged about being with Sir in a hotel not too long ago, and His wish was that i answer the door for pizza delivery wearing my lacy lavender half-bra and garter set. i was none too pleased about that, let me tell you, although in the end i did comply with Sir's wishes - even though He gave me an out, by offering to let me wear one of His shirts. i probably scarred the poor delivery boy for life, actually. and once it was over, i did feel a sense of satisfaction, that i had fulfilled one of Sir's desires, even though it was contrary to my own sense of personal comfort. That does not mean, however, that i scampered to the door in my birthday suit from then on, throwing the door open side so that anyone in the hall could get a good look.
Sir has mentioned to me, more than once, that He'd like it if i were to suck Him in a public place, like in a move theater, perhaps. He's even mentioned that i ought to wear a skirt so i could straddle His lap and He could fuck my ass (we all know it's His property, but again, for clarity's sake, i refer to it as mine). He maintains that it's plenty dark, but i am not convinced. Again, for me, it totally crosses the line of privacy and, yes, decency. There, i've said it. It's indecent to have sex in public. Like i said previously - private things should remain private.
And part of it, i'm sure you could argue, is that i'm not an exhibitionist personality, anyway. i don't like to be the center of attention in a group. i've never been someone to wear low-cut blouses or high-cut shorts. i'm not going to let just anyone get a free show. Nope. i refuse to end up on Facebook or YouTube or whatever, and even if it isn't that drastic, i also don't want to be "that woman", you know - the one everyone laughs at or talks smack about behind her back because she's way too free with her body. i'm not a skank, or a whore, and i'm not available for any old Tom, Dick or Harry to pick up and play with. The only one who gets that part of me is Sir. i'll be His slut, but no one else's.
But i'm sure Sir really would prefer for me to be a bit more free, especially when He decides He wants me to show more skin or perhaps engage in sexual play in public. And i will endeavor to fulfill His wishes, despite my own misgivings.
In order to be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would need to become less conscious of - or less bothered by - public displays of nakedness, and public sexual acts.
Right now the idea of showing too much skin in public totally wigs me out. It's just wrong. i don't want to see any one else's boobs or ass hanging out, so why should i show mine? The same logic applies even more to public sex - i definitely don't want to see it, so why should i be the one doing it? Private things should remain private. You want to hang from the chandelier in your bedroom or living room or hotel room, fine - but don't be fucking in the elevator or the hotel swimming pool. That's just nasty.
i know that i blogged about being with Sir in a hotel not too long ago, and His wish was that i answer the door for pizza delivery wearing my lacy lavender half-bra and garter set. i was none too pleased about that, let me tell you, although in the end i did comply with Sir's wishes - even though He gave me an out, by offering to let me wear one of His shirts. i probably scarred the poor delivery boy for life, actually. and once it was over, i did feel a sense of satisfaction, that i had fulfilled one of Sir's desires, even though it was contrary to my own sense of personal comfort. That does not mean, however, that i scampered to the door in my birthday suit from then on, throwing the door open side so that anyone in the hall could get a good look.
Sir has mentioned to me, more than once, that He'd like it if i were to suck Him in a public place, like in a move theater, perhaps. He's even mentioned that i ought to wear a skirt so i could straddle His lap and He could fuck my ass (we all know it's His property, but again, for clarity's sake, i refer to it as mine). He maintains that it's plenty dark, but i am not convinced. Again, for me, it totally crosses the line of privacy and, yes, decency. There, i've said it. It's indecent to have sex in public. Like i said previously - private things should remain private.
And part of it, i'm sure you could argue, is that i'm not an exhibitionist personality, anyway. i don't like to be the center of attention in a group. i've never been someone to wear low-cut blouses or high-cut shorts. i'm not going to let just anyone get a free show. Nope. i refuse to end up on Facebook or YouTube or whatever, and even if it isn't that drastic, i also don't want to be "that woman", you know - the one everyone laughs at or talks smack about behind her back because she's way too free with her body. i'm not a skank, or a whore, and i'm not available for any old Tom, Dick or Harry to pick up and play with. The only one who gets that part of me is Sir. i'll be His slut, but no one else's.
But i'm sure Sir really would prefer for me to be a bit more free, especially when He decides He wants me to show more skin or perhaps engage in sexual play in public. And i will endeavor to fulfill His wishes, despite my own misgivings.
Friday, January 4, 2013
You Say To-MAY-to, i Say To-MAH-to
--- frank discussion ---
So here i am, Day 2 of my latest writing assignment, and i'm already drawing a blank. Whatever would Sir say, to hear that His sub was having trouble so soon?
To be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would be more judicious with my words. This goes hand in hand with yesterday's topic about checking my attitude. i have this crazy dichotomy going on -- sometimes i talk way too much, getting my point of view out there for everyone to hear (whether they want to or not), and sometimes when Sir asks for my opinion, i clam right up and don't say anything.
What i need to learn, is when to be more verbose, and when to shut up and be quiet. i haven't figured that out quite yet. Sometimes Sir likes to be playful, and i don't always "get it," you know? i take it too seriously, and then my mouth tends to get me in trouble. If something strikes me wrong, i jump right in with my reasons and my why-i-won'ts, instead of biding my time and waiting to see what Sir's intentions are, what He wants. Sometimes He'll start off in one direction, only to turn it around later on, and when i make assumptions about where He's going with it, i invariably end up in the wrong place, and He has to correct me, where if i'd only been patient and quiet and waited a bit, i would have been able to avoid that correction.
i also have a bad habit of correcting people's grammar. In case you haven't guessed by now, i fancy myself a bit of a wordsmith - i enjoy words, enjoy the language, and it's a pet peeve of mine when others misuse it. And really, what difference does it make in my life if someone says "taunt" when they mean "taut"? But no, i have to point it out. And again, i would be farther ahead to just keep quiet and let it pass. i don't have to prove anything.
The flip side of my word problem most often occurs when Sir grants me permission to state my opinions freely. i tend to hide behind an attitude of shyness and don't really say much of anything. In this case i'm intimidated, afraid to actually speak my mind for fear of saying the wrong thing, even though Sir assures me He wants to know what i'm thinking. Sir does not often let me get away with it, of course, and He'll demand that i tell Him what's on my mind. And eventually i spill my guts, and then He knows. But i need to work on being more open immediately when Sir allows me to speak freely.
Sometimes i wonder if i'd do better having a speech restriction, just like Sir has given me a restriction on orgasms. If my only allowable words were "Yes, Sir," "No, Sir," or "This slut does not understand, Sir," maybe i'd be better able to rein in my runaway tongue. And having been forced to respond with such a limited vocabulary, maybe i'd be more willing to state my concerns/opinions/wishes when Sir does grant His sub permission to do so. i don't know. Maybe i'd end up so resentful that i'd say something really stupid.
So the task before me is two-fold: to hold my tongue and keep my peace when Sir is speaking, trusting that whatever He tells me is uttered with my best interests in mind; and to loosen the self-imposed strictures i place on myself when Sir tells me to share what i'm thinking. It's not my place to try to figure out what His intentions are, or to make assumptions about what Sir is thinking. By coupling yesterday's determination to check my attitude with today's plan to choose my words - both the frequency and the content - carefully, i believe i will be moving closer to Sir's ideal.
So here i am, Day 2 of my latest writing assignment, and i'm already drawing a blank. Whatever would Sir say, to hear that His sub was having trouble so soon?
To be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would be more judicious with my words. This goes hand in hand with yesterday's topic about checking my attitude. i have this crazy dichotomy going on -- sometimes i talk way too much, getting my point of view out there for everyone to hear (whether they want to or not), and sometimes when Sir asks for my opinion, i clam right up and don't say anything.
What i need to learn, is when to be more verbose, and when to shut up and be quiet. i haven't figured that out quite yet. Sometimes Sir likes to be playful, and i don't always "get it," you know? i take it too seriously, and then my mouth tends to get me in trouble. If something strikes me wrong, i jump right in with my reasons and my why-i-won'ts, instead of biding my time and waiting to see what Sir's intentions are, what He wants. Sometimes He'll start off in one direction, only to turn it around later on, and when i make assumptions about where He's going with it, i invariably end up in the wrong place, and He has to correct me, where if i'd only been patient and quiet and waited a bit, i would have been able to avoid that correction.
i also have a bad habit of correcting people's grammar. In case you haven't guessed by now, i fancy myself a bit of a wordsmith - i enjoy words, enjoy the language, and it's a pet peeve of mine when others misuse it. And really, what difference does it make in my life if someone says "taunt" when they mean "taut"? But no, i have to point it out. And again, i would be farther ahead to just keep quiet and let it pass. i don't have to prove anything.
The flip side of my word problem most often occurs when Sir grants me permission to state my opinions freely. i tend to hide behind an attitude of shyness and don't really say much of anything. In this case i'm intimidated, afraid to actually speak my mind for fear of saying the wrong thing, even though Sir assures me He wants to know what i'm thinking. Sir does not often let me get away with it, of course, and He'll demand that i tell Him what's on my mind. And eventually i spill my guts, and then He knows. But i need to work on being more open immediately when Sir allows me to speak freely.
Sometimes i wonder if i'd do better having a speech restriction, just like Sir has given me a restriction on orgasms. If my only allowable words were "Yes, Sir," "No, Sir," or "This slut does not understand, Sir," maybe i'd be better able to rein in my runaway tongue. And having been forced to respond with such a limited vocabulary, maybe i'd be more willing to state my concerns/opinions/wishes when Sir does grant His sub permission to do so. i don't know. Maybe i'd end up so resentful that i'd say something really stupid.
So the task before me is two-fold: to hold my tongue and keep my peace when Sir is speaking, trusting that whatever He tells me is uttered with my best interests in mind; and to loosen the self-imposed strictures i place on myself when Sir tells me to share what i'm thinking. It's not my place to try to figure out what His intentions are, or to make assumptions about what Sir is thinking. By coupling yesterday's determination to check my attitude with today's plan to choose my words - both the frequency and the content - carefully, i believe i will be moving closer to Sir's ideal.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Second Verse, Same as the First
--- frank sexual discussion ----
Sir liked my postings this past week, with my given theme, so He has assigned me another week, using the prompt to be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, I would......
i'm in SO much trouble. How am i supposed to come up with 500 words every day on what is essentially "shut up and stop arguing"??
Here goes....
To be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would be more cognizant of my attitude. Sir often chastises me for a poor attitude, when often i'm not even aware i'm showing a poor attitude. Honest. i admit i can be defensive, even with Sir, if i feel like i'm being unfairly or unduly criticized, and i'm quick to step in and argue my side of things. i like to be right, and i like to be acknowledged as right. But often, when Sir says i'm "showing attitude", i'm not even aware of it; in my mind, all i'm doing is explaining my side.
Take yesterday, for example - Sir sent me a text message telling me to call Him during my lunch hour at work and talk to Him while fingering His property. And then i was told to take a photo of His pussy and send it to Him, immediately. And i did. But when i left work and called Him, He asked if i'd not gotten His order. i felt He was insinuating that i'd ignored a command, and i jumped right in to defend myself. i want so badly to be thought of as obedient, that i'll risk His displeasure by arguing rather than have any lingering doubt about whether i have done as i was told.
Also during the same conversation, as Sir's pussy was sloppy-wet and was being denied the pleasure of a climax - and let me tell you, being in that state makes it difficult to concentrate on anything else - Sir kept asking me who owned me, and what that means to me, and why do i want that .... He was seeking specific answers which i'm convinced He knew i did not want to give, and so He kept hammering away until i snapped out the words He wanted to hear, but i know they came out snippy. And i wasn't trying to be defiant; i was defeated, and angry about being defeated, and the fact that i had verbalized them at all made me feel weak, frankly. It was not a deliberate attempt to be defiant, or dismissive, or to push the boundaries or anything like that. It's just the way i react when i feel i've been beaten.
i will say, however, that my contrariness shows the most when Sir brings up one or two sore subjects. There are issues i still have, issues i don't want to deal with and things i don't want to do. And i resent being pushed or coerced or manipulated or backed into a corner. i am trying to process my issues, to work through them, to come to terms and find some measure of peace about them. That doesn't mean
i'm going to end this journey, or that i don't want to keep exploring submission. It simply means i am not ready for some things, and i need more time. And it could be that i'll never be able to accept certain things; i can't believe that every sub has the exact same boundaries - or lack of boundaries.
But i suppose that my reasons, explanations and justifications are beside the point; i can lay out all my arguments, and still it boils down to this - Sir would rather have a sub who does not talk back or leap to her own defense at the slightest provocation. And part of my journey to become a "perfect submissive slut" will have to involve shutting my mouth, recognizing when i'm being defensive, working on biting my tongue until i reach the point where i no longer automatically argue my own defense. And that's what it is - an automatic reflex. So that's the first answer to this week's theme.
Sir liked my postings this past week, with my given theme, so He has assigned me another week, using the prompt to be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, I would......
i'm in SO much trouble. How am i supposed to come up with 500 words every day on what is essentially "shut up and stop arguing"??
Here goes....
To be the perfect submissive slut for Sir, i would be more cognizant of my attitude. Sir often chastises me for a poor attitude, when often i'm not even aware i'm showing a poor attitude. Honest. i admit i can be defensive, even with Sir, if i feel like i'm being unfairly or unduly criticized, and i'm quick to step in and argue my side of things. i like to be right, and i like to be acknowledged as right. But often, when Sir says i'm "showing attitude", i'm not even aware of it; in my mind, all i'm doing is explaining my side.
Take yesterday, for example - Sir sent me a text message telling me to call Him during my lunch hour at work and talk to Him while fingering His property. And then i was told to take a photo of His pussy and send it to Him, immediately. And i did. But when i left work and called Him, He asked if i'd not gotten His order. i felt He was insinuating that i'd ignored a command, and i jumped right in to defend myself. i want so badly to be thought of as obedient, that i'll risk His displeasure by arguing rather than have any lingering doubt about whether i have done as i was told.
Also during the same conversation, as Sir's pussy was sloppy-wet and was being denied the pleasure of a climax - and let me tell you, being in that state makes it difficult to concentrate on anything else - Sir kept asking me who owned me, and what that means to me, and why do i want that .... He was seeking specific answers which i'm convinced He knew i did not want to give, and so He kept hammering away until i snapped out the words He wanted to hear, but i know they came out snippy. And i wasn't trying to be defiant; i was defeated, and angry about being defeated, and the fact that i had verbalized them at all made me feel weak, frankly. It was not a deliberate attempt to be defiant, or dismissive, or to push the boundaries or anything like that. It's just the way i react when i feel i've been beaten.
i will say, however, that my contrariness shows the most when Sir brings up one or two sore subjects. There are issues i still have, issues i don't want to deal with and things i don't want to do. And i resent being pushed or coerced or manipulated or backed into a corner. i am trying to process my issues, to work through them, to come to terms and find some measure of peace about them. That doesn't mean
i'm going to end this journey, or that i don't want to keep exploring submission. It simply means i am not ready for some things, and i need more time. And it could be that i'll never be able to accept certain things; i can't believe that every sub has the exact same boundaries - or lack of boundaries.
But i suppose that my reasons, explanations and justifications are beside the point; i can lay out all my arguments, and still it boils down to this - Sir would rather have a sub who does not talk back or leap to her own defense at the slightest provocation. And part of my journey to become a "perfect submissive slut" will have to involve shutting my mouth, recognizing when i'm being defensive, working on biting my tongue until i reach the point where i no longer automatically argue my own defense. And that's what it is - an automatic reflex. So that's the first answer to this week's theme.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Thank You, Sir - May i Have Another?
--- detailed sexual discussion ---
Continuing with this week's theme ....
It would be so hot if Sir gifted me with a flogger. i've mentioned before that i wanted to try one ..... i'm not into pain for its own sake, and i don't want to be whipped or beaten or flagellated. But a flogger, a special one crafted just so, with buttery-soft suede tresses .... yeah, i could get into that. i'm looking more for sensuous play with only a bit of sting, something Sir can use on breasts and pussy as well as ass or back or legs. It should be fairly short, and lovely to look at, perhaps a braided design on the leather handle, but not pink!
In my mind's eye i see Sir using when i'm restrained. i'd be on my back, with my hands above my head (do you get the feeling i really like that??) and perhaps even my ankles loosely tied - enough room to wriggle a bit, but not too much. He might blindfold me, as well, or He might want me to watch Him wield it. Either way, i imagine Him dragging the tails across my skin, over the curve of my breast, teasing the nipple, then flicking His wrist to lightly strike me with it. i'd shudder, because the gentle pop feels good to me. i imagine Sir might do this several times, teasing me with feather-light touches of the tails on my skin, then striking me with it. i'm quite sure that interspersed with the light touches would be heavier smacks, strikes that stung and left red marks and made me jump, because Sir likes to add a touch of pain to the pleasure.
i imagine He would strike His pussy with it, as well, then trail those soft tresses up between my legs, teasing me, popping the flogger on my thighs and stomach, keeping me off-balance because i'd never be sure when the next strike would be the stinging one. But the feel of those long, soft tresses dragging inside my thighs, across His pussy and sliding over His clit - His pussy will be leaking major amounts of juices with this treatment. Sir might roll me over at some point, positioning me on hands and knees, so that He can use more forceful blows on my back and ass, then soothe the pain of those strikes by trailing the tresses down my spine. God, yes, that would be SO hot.
i'm juicing up a little just thinking about it.
Continuing with this week's theme ....
It would be so hot if Sir gifted me with a flogger. i've mentioned before that i wanted to try one ..... i'm not into pain for its own sake, and i don't want to be whipped or beaten or flagellated. But a flogger, a special one crafted just so, with buttery-soft suede tresses .... yeah, i could get into that. i'm looking more for sensuous play with only a bit of sting, something Sir can use on breasts and pussy as well as ass or back or legs. It should be fairly short, and lovely to look at, perhaps a braided design on the leather handle, but not pink!
In my mind's eye i see Sir using when i'm restrained. i'd be on my back, with my hands above my head (do you get the feeling i really like that??) and perhaps even my ankles loosely tied - enough room to wriggle a bit, but not too much. He might blindfold me, as well, or He might want me to watch Him wield it. Either way, i imagine Him dragging the tails across my skin, over the curve of my breast, teasing the nipple, then flicking His wrist to lightly strike me with it. i'd shudder, because the gentle pop feels good to me. i imagine Sir might do this several times, teasing me with feather-light touches of the tails on my skin, then striking me with it. i'm quite sure that interspersed with the light touches would be heavier smacks, strikes that stung and left red marks and made me jump, because Sir likes to add a touch of pain to the pleasure.
i imagine He would strike His pussy with it, as well, then trail those soft tresses up between my legs, teasing me, popping the flogger on my thighs and stomach, keeping me off-balance because i'd never be sure when the next strike would be the stinging one. But the feel of those long, soft tresses dragging inside my thighs, across His pussy and sliding over His clit - His pussy will be leaking major amounts of juices with this treatment. Sir might roll me over at some point, positioning me on hands and knees, so that He can use more forceful blows on my back and ass, then soothe the pain of those strikes by trailing the tresses down my spine. God, yes, that would be SO hot.
i'm juicing up a little just thinking about it.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Morning Rush
---- frank sexual discussion ----
And on to Day 6 of this latest task .....
My eyes blink open slowly as i awaken before Sir, lying for a few moments in the muted light of early morning, the warmth of His body surrounding me. i don't want to move, but my bladder is insistent, so i carefully slide to the edge of the bed and pad into the bathroom. Ah, that's better.
i have a thought, which becomes an idea, which becomes a plan ..... oh, this will be so totally hot....
i brush my teeth, ridding my mouth of the stale taste of sleep, then slip quietly back to bed. i see that Sir has rolled to His back, which fits perfectly with my plans. i pull the covers back, carefully, just enough to uncover my prize. Ah, yes..... i settle on my hands and knees next to Sir's legs and lean down to take His cock into my mouth. Mmm. His shaft is soft in sleep, and i take it completely, extending my tongue to lick at His balls as well. i suckle Him as He shifts, just beginning to stir, and His cock slowly comes to life on my tongue. i love doing this to Him, waking Him like this, pulling Him from the bliss of sleep straight into bliss of another kind.
i can tell He is nearly awake, now, and i set a more insistent rhythm, pulling Him into my mouth and spitting Him back out, over and over, and His cock swells even more. When He is erect i can't take it all - i gag and choke and sputter - and i wrap my fingers around the base and pump even as i continue to suck Him. Sir grabs my leg and tugs, and i shift my body - still on my knees - until He can reach His property, and He begins to play with His pussy while i suck His cock. After just a few minutes i'm having trouble concentrating, because His fingers have delved inside me and are relentless, insistent, drenched in my juices and slick and hot and demanding.
Sir tells me to go get some lube, and i hasten to obey, grabbing the bottle and handing it to Him before resuming my position and sucking Him again. i hear Him snap the lid open, hear the squelch as He squeezes lube onto His fingers, hear the quiet thud as He tosses the bottle to the bed. Immediately i feel His finger pressing into my ass (it is His ass, of course, as He owns it; but merely for clarity i refer to it as mine in this tale). The lube feels cold, and i shiver, then squirm against the intrusion. Sir works His finger inside, stretching me open, forcing me to accept it, loosening my ass in preparation for His cock to follow. When He thinks i'm ready, He tells me to stop sucking Him, and i straddle Him in a reverse-cowgirl position.
Sir positions His cock at my entrance and tells me to push back. He presses His cock inside, slowly, gripping my hips to shift my position, telling me to bear down or move my legs or push, as He needs. i follow his instructions, of course i do, but it hurts, and burns, and hurts some more as my ass is forced open, being stretched to allow Him in. i end up sitting atop Him at a nearly 90-degree angle, one knee pulled to my chest, my other foot planted on the mattress, panting hard, a thin sheen of sweat covering my back.
And then Sir begins to thrust. It's painful at first, and i shift, seeking a more comfortable angle.... Yes, that's better. Much better. Sir can feel me finally relax around Him, and He picks up the pace, one hand on my hip to hold me in place, the other pressing against the small of my back. i brace one hand on Sir's knee to balance myself as Sir's thrusts become more forceful. His hand drops away from my back and reaches around to find my breast, teasing the nipple until it hardens and then pinching it, hard, which makes me flinch and groan. His hand slides down my side and begins to finger His property, sliding wetly across His clit... my back arches and my head drops back, my juices flowing to coat His fingers. i shift my legs apart as best i can, encouraging Him to quest deeper, even as His cock plunders my ass. His fingers on my clit are driving me wild, and i am writhing on His cock, gasping and panting and moaning, and i'm so, so close, and i want to cum so badly...... that need is so strong, it actually hurts.....
And then Sir speaks to me - "Who owns you? Who do you belong to?" - His voice is demanding, insistent, and i choke out my answers in between moans and gasps and cries. Finally, finally, Sir commands me to cum, and it's so hard and so fast i have to scream it out, my back bowing and my muscles locking up with the intensity of it. Sir cums then, too, spilling Himself in my ass, and i clutch at His knees while my body shakes and i try to catch my breath.
Eventually my trembling eases and i can breathe without gasping, and Sir shifts beneath me, gently pushing me off His cock. i roll to the side, hissing when Sir's cock pops free, then scramble to clean off His cock with my tongue. i suckle Him, gently, mindful of His sensitivity, but thoroughly, so that i don't miss a drop. When i'm satisfied that He is completely clean, i raise my head and meet His eyes, and then i say, "Good morning, Sir." When he replies with "Good morning, Kitten," i know He is pleased, and that feels as good to me as the peaceful, sated state of my body.
And on to Day 6 of this latest task .....
My eyes blink open slowly as i awaken before Sir, lying for a few moments in the muted light of early morning, the warmth of His body surrounding me. i don't want to move, but my bladder is insistent, so i carefully slide to the edge of the bed and pad into the bathroom. Ah, that's better.
i have a thought, which becomes an idea, which becomes a plan ..... oh, this will be so totally hot....
i brush my teeth, ridding my mouth of the stale taste of sleep, then slip quietly back to bed. i see that Sir has rolled to His back, which fits perfectly with my plans. i pull the covers back, carefully, just enough to uncover my prize. Ah, yes..... i settle on my hands and knees next to Sir's legs and lean down to take His cock into my mouth. Mmm. His shaft is soft in sleep, and i take it completely, extending my tongue to lick at His balls as well. i suckle Him as He shifts, just beginning to stir, and His cock slowly comes to life on my tongue. i love doing this to Him, waking Him like this, pulling Him from the bliss of sleep straight into bliss of another kind.
i can tell He is nearly awake, now, and i set a more insistent rhythm, pulling Him into my mouth and spitting Him back out, over and over, and His cock swells even more. When He is erect i can't take it all - i gag and choke and sputter - and i wrap my fingers around the base and pump even as i continue to suck Him. Sir grabs my leg and tugs, and i shift my body - still on my knees - until He can reach His property, and He begins to play with His pussy while i suck His cock. After just a few minutes i'm having trouble concentrating, because His fingers have delved inside me and are relentless, insistent, drenched in my juices and slick and hot and demanding.
Sir tells me to go get some lube, and i hasten to obey, grabbing the bottle and handing it to Him before resuming my position and sucking Him again. i hear Him snap the lid open, hear the squelch as He squeezes lube onto His fingers, hear the quiet thud as He tosses the bottle to the bed. Immediately i feel His finger pressing into my ass (it is His ass, of course, as He owns it; but merely for clarity i refer to it as mine in this tale). The lube feels cold, and i shiver, then squirm against the intrusion. Sir works His finger inside, stretching me open, forcing me to accept it, loosening my ass in preparation for His cock to follow. When He thinks i'm ready, He tells me to stop sucking Him, and i straddle Him in a reverse-cowgirl position.
Sir positions His cock at my entrance and tells me to push back. He presses His cock inside, slowly, gripping my hips to shift my position, telling me to bear down or move my legs or push, as He needs. i follow his instructions, of course i do, but it hurts, and burns, and hurts some more as my ass is forced open, being stretched to allow Him in. i end up sitting atop Him at a nearly 90-degree angle, one knee pulled to my chest, my other foot planted on the mattress, panting hard, a thin sheen of sweat covering my back.
And then Sir begins to thrust. It's painful at first, and i shift, seeking a more comfortable angle.... Yes, that's better. Much better. Sir can feel me finally relax around Him, and He picks up the pace, one hand on my hip to hold me in place, the other pressing against the small of my back. i brace one hand on Sir's knee to balance myself as Sir's thrusts become more forceful. His hand drops away from my back and reaches around to find my breast, teasing the nipple until it hardens and then pinching it, hard, which makes me flinch and groan. His hand slides down my side and begins to finger His property, sliding wetly across His clit... my back arches and my head drops back, my juices flowing to coat His fingers. i shift my legs apart as best i can, encouraging Him to quest deeper, even as His cock plunders my ass. His fingers on my clit are driving me wild, and i am writhing on His cock, gasping and panting and moaning, and i'm so, so close, and i want to cum so badly...... that need is so strong, it actually hurts.....
And then Sir speaks to me - "Who owns you? Who do you belong to?" - His voice is demanding, insistent, and i choke out my answers in between moans and gasps and cries. Finally, finally, Sir commands me to cum, and it's so hard and so fast i have to scream it out, my back bowing and my muscles locking up with the intensity of it. Sir cums then, too, spilling Himself in my ass, and i clutch at His knees while my body shakes and i try to catch my breath.
Eventually my trembling eases and i can breathe without gasping, and Sir shifts beneath me, gently pushing me off His cock. i roll to the side, hissing when Sir's cock pops free, then scramble to clean off His cock with my tongue. i suckle Him, gently, mindful of His sensitivity, but thoroughly, so that i don't miss a drop. When i'm satisfied that He is completely clean, i raise my head and meet His eyes, and then i say, "Good morning, Sir." When he replies with "Good morning, Kitten," i know He is pleased, and that feels as good to me as the peaceful, sated state of my body.
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