More thoughts

OK, so more thoughts about my basic questions.......

DOES becoming submissive mean I'm giving up my sense of self? Do I maintain my own individuality, my own value and worth, or do I become, bluntly, just another cunt? Because honestly, even though I'm moving in a direction where I willingly give up control and turn all decision-making over to my Dom, I still want to be seen as ME. 

And I admit to having made bad decisions before, where I've tried so hard to be whatever is required of me, that I felt like I was MIA. It seems like there has to be a way to straddle that line - to be willing to be flexible, malleable, and yet not give up so much that the essence of ME fades away.

Then I wonder if I'm missing the whole point of it. Perhaps the ME in me DOES have to fade away, for a little while at least, in order to become more perfectly submissive. And that is where I begin to glimpse the possibility - that I have to be willing to totally cease to be, to completely submit, to serve, to obey. I have to be willing and able to put aside my own concerns, my own desires and trust that I will get what I need when I give my Dom what he wants and needs. 

And THAT is the crux of it. Can I do it? Am I capable of doing this, of letting go to that extent? This is the point where I have to decide if I'm truly willing to move forward in this journey. It seems to me that the possible benefits of learning more, of experiencing more, must be worth the growing pains and the learning curve, if only I can harness the courage to accept the challenge.  :)